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Copyright
© 2002-04 NSB Group.
All Rights Reserved.
The objectives of this web site are to provide a venue to share recovery success and as a place to turn to for support for anyone suffering from a debilitating disability or illness. It is also intended to be of assistance to those who care for and provide help to the survivor.
OBJECTIVES
The initial objectives of this web site are based around the four headings as outlined in Nancy Bauser's book, Acceptance Groups for Survivors.
- Part I - Dealing With Me
- Part II - Dealing With Others
- Part III - Dealing With Feelings
- Part IV - Putting It Together
Survivors need to have an understanding of the following concepts. These are key issues that help survivors to regain and reclaim health.
Recovery - Survivors are the ones who need to define their own recoveries. Each person's definition of recovery will evolve as each individual builds upon his or her own successes. It is through this process that people change and grow.
Acceptance - Acceptance is coming to terms emotionally and intellectually with reality. It's a term that means different things at different times. It includes feeling satisfied by making a "best effort", regardless of the outcome. When one accepts, one is content and stops struggling to win battles that cannot or need not be won.
Expectations - What is unrealistic today can only become possible after goals are set, worked for and achieved. It often is failing to meet one's expectations that causes pain, more than failing to achieve a particular goal.
Independence - Complete independence is an ideal and impossible! Everyone needs interdependent relationships with family members, support persons, friends, coworkers and environments. Survivors need to become aware that others depend on them in order to see themselves as part of mutually supportive relationships. Understanding the need for "healthy interdependence" must be the goal here - learning that interdependence means standing alone with some level of assistance.
Work/Volunteer Work - Being involved in activities (work) survivors see as being worthwhile is crucial to their feeling any level of satisfaction. Sensing that they are a valuable part of something larger than themselves - whether or not they are receiving compensation - is why working is so important.
Support System - Whether family, friends or acceptance groups, support systems are there to offer assistance. Recognizing support systems are there and how they work positively within them, survivors learn not to lose site of their role in providing support as well as receiving support.
Worth - Personal value or worth is best never equated to the amount of money made. Rather, worth involves all that survivors are and all that they do. By considering people who are most important to them, survivors realize worth has little to do with money.
Friendship - "We treat others the way we wish to be treated." This rule is a defining quality of friendship. Realizing that friends give as well as take, support as well as receive support, survivors assess the the quality of their friendships and appraise what they contribute to friendships they value. Finally, it is best when survivors understand that no matter what their life circumstances are, it is the nature of friendships to evolve and change with time.
PART III - Dealing with Feelings
Change - Change is never comfortable. Most people resist change because the tendency is strong to want life's circumstances to remain constant and thus familiar. The reality is, however, that the only constant in life is change. When life's circumstances shift, welcoming change as an opportunity to learn is a positive means of dealing with the inevitability of change.
Control - Survivors learn that life's circumstances are the result of decisions - some made by themselves, some by others. By tackling one problem at a time, survivors can begin to gain some control over their lives and resolve some of the complications caused by their injury/disability/illness.
Loss - People living with injuries/disabilities/illnesses are constantly reminded of their losses when seeing those around them who appear able-bodied. Participants learn that the visibility of loss has nothing to do with its severity. Survivors also learn to mourn their losses by going through the stages of grieving. Finally, survivors realize that those around them (family, friends, coworkers) may need to grieve for the loss of what had been a comfortable status quo for them.
Letting Go - Letting go happens at the end of the grieving process. It involves the releasing of pain, anger and old ideas of how life was going to progress. Once survivors let go of old beliefs and negative feelings, they learn to fill the void those feelings have left with plans based in their new reality. In order to build feelings of self worth, survivors need to believe that they can grab onto a new reality when they let go of the old.
Themselves - Survivors will see the need to take a closer look at themselves and redefine themselves based on all they have learned. The new definition will be sharper because it will be based on facts they have acknowledged, admitted and have begun to accept about their post injury/disability/illness selves.
Their Goals - With an accurate picture who they are, survivors can begin to build a solid framework of realistic goals. Survivors need to understand that their setting goals has value - not only for themselves, but survivors' goal setting also has value for others in their lives.
Their Plans and Methods - Armed with a clearer understanding of their new selves and a framework of realistic, achievable goals, survivors can begin constructing the stairway that will reach their goals. The steps in the stairway will consist of people who can assist them, friendly environments and familiar tools they can use.
